we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
