i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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