Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
