I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
