Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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