Are we in a gay sports bar?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
