operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
