butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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