garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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