I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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