Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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