I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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