I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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