Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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