Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
