Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
