You're my little dorito
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
