Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
