my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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