i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
