And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
