Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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