I'm eating all of the evidence.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
