I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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