How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
