no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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