I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm going to jail i love you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
