How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
