Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
