Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
