dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
