Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
