honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
