why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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