Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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