I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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