i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pants are for mortals
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
