I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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