All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
