we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
