my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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