The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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