brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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