Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
