Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
