Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
