Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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