you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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