rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
where are you?
Hypothermia
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
