Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
