the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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