found the other keg... it's in the tree
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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